Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Found: Favorite pintxos!

Wow, that Cutting Edge confession has me feeling awkward. It's best to feed the discomfort. As you can see we're right back into the tapas, or pintxos, as it's known in Basque country. A sea of pretties. There was magic with quail eggs:The quail eggs were stronger tasting than I remembered (I've only ever had quail eggs in Thai fish maw soup). Gamier than I remembered? Anyone else? Ooooh! Cod with chilly oil:

And finally what else? A ham and croquette plate:
This is the only place where I had to have seconds on the same pintxos:
The winner. Gooey, chopped-up Jamon Iberico de Bellota. I think this was my favorite thing-I-ate on the whole trip.

Spain can wait: Let's talk about The Cutting Edge and other awkward transitions

A couple days ago my friend Jenn-from-Tokyo sends me an e-mail with the subject heading: "We are needing an explosion." Yes, it is Coach Pamchenko's voice you are hearing! As Jenn informs me, the Canadians have a reality show that pairs hockey players with ice dancers. A real live Cutting Edge! Now you might say, "Big deal. What the hell does The Cutting Edge have to do with travel or food or shirking work?" Well, as with my little essay on "What Robotech means to me," it would be inconceivable to have a public blog and not share with you (i.e. inflict on you, force you to digest) a little piece I like to call "What the The Cutting Edge means to me." And like my essay on Robotech and most of my adolescence, we are dealing with a much scarier and escapist (if that's even possible) little Ms. Dip who only wanted to dream the dream of the Pamchenko twist.

Let us begin with prissy Kate and and vacant Doug, a.k.a. Moira Kelly and D.B. Sweeney, who hate each other, see?:
God, look at how they hate each other but also desire to get freaky on the ice. I saw this movie in the theater on my 15th birthday. Loved it so much that I quoted it and sent anonymous scraps of paper to friends with quotes (and only quotes) from the movie. Like, with no other message or signature because I was WEIRD, but really because I felt that the material stood on its own. Weighty gems like, "You cretin" and "Toe pick" and "You want me to put my hands where?" Oh my god it was so funny (even though my friend Amanda said upon receiving an anonymously sent Cutting Edge quote, "Um, I feel like someone's watching me.") I even followed the careers of Moira Kelly and D.B. Sweeney, which took unspeakable amounts of time and dedication because all of my research was pre-IMDB and because we're talking about Moira Kelly and D.B. Sweeney (a poor and possibly schizophrenic homeless man's Rachel Weisz and Ben Affleck). Result?
Ice dancing in the dark. Except let's talk about one thing that bugged me even in 1992. The ice dancing costumes were the most normal and believable aspect of the clothing choices/entire movie. Even then, I had a major problem with Kate's civilian clothes and more specifically, with her ridiculously boxy, size-double-D-shoulder-padded blazers, sweaters and turtlenecks, which I can only attribute 1) to their being in Canada (maybe it's just that cold your shoulders freeze up without pads) and 2) to awkward 80s-to-90s fashion and musical transitions. With the The Cutting Edge, it's as if grunge never happened, musically or fashion-wise, and the only costuming direction was: "I see shades of teal." And basics from the 1989 sale rack at the Limited.

Anyhow, before now I would have apologized to my friends (Laura, Amanda, Morgan, you know who you are) for submitting them to my crazy when we were only 15 (how could they have known?), but now I think I was just ahead of my time. Especially with two sequels and a reality show, I just don't see any real closure for this particular obsession.

Monday, November 09, 2009

Why do I bother? For the shoes!

This is just to set the scene for more food photos, because that's the majority of photos I took, and because that's mostly what we did in Spain. It was like, "I'm not hungry, but we have to eat again in an hour so I'm going to skip Guernica and take a nap to save up energy, m'kay?" Anyhow, before I get into Basque country, can I first say chestito to Jen and Milcho on their wedding! And a big blagodarya to them for letting us, their Bulgarian ruffian neighbors, be a part of their festivities this past weekend in Skopje. We loved it. Vcihko hubavo to you both (and Jen: Milcho really wants you to get that Mac). On to uninspired scenes from Bilbao:
Train station
Around the old town in Bilbao.
Shops built into the backside of a church.
I did not climb these steps, but just so you know, they're there. There was an H&M around here. AND, perhaps most importantly, I bought these in Bilbao:
And it's because they were to closest thing I could find to these:
Real flamenco shoes! The ones I wanted were actually further in the back in grey suede. I asked to buy them, but the cobbler said they were for chicos only.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

How to decorate with El Jamón

Ham wall and carver in the neighborhood of La Latina.
Ham centerpieces.
Ham as ceiling fixtures in Toledo.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

When only a ham collage will do

I caught a cold in Barcelona, nursed it through our last days in Madrid, and then withstood a cruel plane ride back to Sofia, where the cold transformed me into a nasty, nasty beast out of Pan's Labyrinth. And it snowed. And the city shut off the water for the last three hours. So I thought I'd make a ham collage. So many shades of rose and pink...

Iberico Bellota at the Museo del Jamon in Madrid
Jabugo ham at Taller de Tapas in Barcelona
They just called this "cured ham" at Senyor Parellada in Barcelona.
Lacon Iberic at Tapaç 24 in Barcelona.
I also have a collage of ham legs in the hopper. I know. This is a different kind of swine flu. It's safe to expect future postings on: Gaudi, food markets and flamenco shoes.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Bilbao: And they call it puppy love.

The Guggenheim Puppy by Jeff Koons in Bilbao! I've waited so long to see you, Puppy! Ever since my friend sent me a postcard of you ten years ago. You are made of flowers and joy, and you're really really hard to leave behind. Look how he guards the museum:

And look at his bushy back and tail:
In noble stance with purple flower nose (and Jobert):
I read that after the opening of the museum, the piece was going to be taken on tour to other museums, but the Bilbaoans fought for the Puppy to stay. I would, too. The museum itself is miraculous, but honestly, it was enough for me just to see the Puppy.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Drunk. On sangria and flamenco. And ham.

We went to Casa Patas to see some flamenco and holy crap, it was awesome! The restaurant/bar had an intimate cabaret-style stage in the back where the dancers, singers and guitarist got down.
Crazy faces.
HAM WALL!!!
The program of flamenco performers. Unfortunately, my photos of the actual dancers and musicians didn't turn out.
Groupies. If I lived here, I would totally become a flamenco groupie.

Overheard 2 hours later: We can't seat you now. It's too early.

Look at Josh's tiny beer! Oh my goodness. I know what you're thinking: "Why do you have all this time to blog on a vacation?" Well, it's because I'm waiting for dinner. 8:30 is the earliest possible time to get a reservation and still, I swear they set their clocks to run slower because the restaurants still won't be open at 8:30. So I blog.
Cervantes lived here at Casa Alberto's.
Matador stuff.
Sarah. Who now wants to be known as the Contessa. I said, okay, as long as she referred to me as Nida Carpaccio. We're back to calling each other by our regular names.
I'm sweating while thinking about this little "starter" I ordered, which was called "Castillian soup." It's a beef based broth with fried bread and ham and garlic. And a fried egg. I should tell you that I followed this with tripe in the Madrid-style, of which I took no pictures because I got excited. Good lord, it was rich and tripey. I'll tell you that this is the last time I follow that soup with that main dish.
Hubs' starter: Broad beans and ham.
Jobert's main: oxtail stew.
No time for dessert or coffee because we have to rush off to...

Reunion with Jobert

=
Hilarity. The most reliable circular saw.

Overheard an hour later: Time for a churro?

The Hubs drank the hot chocolate that was MADE FOR DIPPING ONLY.
Churro mountain

Touched by a Tapas

Iberian ham, mozzarella, porcini mushroom on toast
Cockles and lemon juice
Foie gras and spiced toast
Chorizos ham and toast
Ham croquettes
Meat bombs
Cod in olive oil soup with grapefruit
Foie gras in stewed lentils
Marscapone cream with liquor gelatin and cake crumbles

Imagonnagopassoutnow.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

If I could choose my guide to Spain...

It's a toss- up between Javier or the ghost of Cristobal Balenciaga. We are off to Spain tonight! To rendezvous with Jobert in Madrid, pay homage to the Guggenheim in Bilbao (please please please let the puppy made of flowers still be there), and check out some Gaudi in Barcelona. Any tips about your favorite leg o' Spanish ham and must-try dishes, feel free to bombard me with them now!

Monday, October 19, 2009

My circus ringleader outfit

Fun vintage to be had in Amsterdam. I stopped in Laura Dols and made away with above wookie stole. By the way, what's with all the tall girls with creamy glowy skin cycling around the Negen Straatjes? Dutch girls, what are you using on your skin?! And please tell me it's because you rub chocolate all over your faces in the morning and then take marzipan baths at night. Because I could really commit to a beauty regimen like that.

Here's my thin red purse with a gold chain also from Laura Dols. Enough room for my 10 leva bill with which I can buy three, 350-gram shopska salads. That's a lot for such a little purse!
The murse I always wanted! No, seriously. I really always wanted a purse like this. Also fits maybe a wad of tissue and a cellphone. It's hanging on my dress form over an obnoxious-but-sort-of-had-to-have-it, red-and-white-striped, knee length skirt with a ruffle at the hem. Again, perhaps only appropriate for a circus ringleader, but I kind of feel that way sometimes. This purchase might also have been influenced by the constant presence of 6-foot-tall Anthropologie type models who all wore quirky things like this, which made me think, "Hey, I shop here, too. Must be because I'm cool, and I'd still look sexy wearing only a cape and cornhusk blue cowboy booties." I'd love to have an Edna Mode who sits on my shoulder in the changing room and says, "Yoo look like an asshole, dahling."

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Rijsttafel: Holy nut, pickle, satay, spicy crispy baby fish bonanza!

After waiting in the rain (yes, again) and wandering through the awesome but packed Van Gogh Museum, it was oh-so-lovely to behold the rijsttafel (thanks for the tip, Betsy!), the Indonesian-Dutch mini-dish explosion you see below:

Woah woah woah, you mean the satay isn't ours? Wha..? KIDDING.
Finally. Post-colonial deliciousness.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Bike, Tart, Cheese, Night

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Canals? Please, we got 'em.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Just the memory gets me through the week

I'm not trying to start a fight or anything between the Dutch and the Belgians, but Puccini chocolates really give Marcolini a run for their money. Featured flavors: apricot marzipan, white chocolate poppyseed, plum, caramel, rhubarb, and mint. The Hubs' favorite was plum (a surprising win over the crunchy caramel after which he uttered "Mmmph!" then "Nap...") while mine was the apricot marzipan (I don't know, marzipan really gets me these days). We also brought back some dark chocolate almond chips for gifts, which I'm now regretting, since those were damn good too.

I was having a bad day today because the gods like their Asian girls real angry like, all the time, but then I thought back to the first time I bit into one of these:
...and I still felt rage, but at least there was a moment where I felt, "Yeah, it's worth all the shenanigans in the world just so I can have another bite of chocolate love." I'm still talking about chocolate here, folks.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Staring down rabbits in Jordaan

I figured it would be best to show what a street (as opposed to a dining establishment) in Amsterdam looks like. It's just as wild and crazy as you thought it would be: rabbits painted willy-nilly all over electricity boxes. They love their cute here.

Okay fine one food shot:
This is Dutch licorice. On top is the "sweet" kind. I put "sweet" in quotes, because it's not as sweet as our licorice, but tastes more like actual (black) licorice with hints of honey. That was pretty yummy. On the bottom, in the shape of mice, is the salty licorice, which was really salty even though it was only the "salt" kind, and not the "double salt" or "triple salt" kind, which I can only imagine must be like chewing sea water. I thought it was alright, but we had really gotten too much of the salty stuff and started getting thirsty. It got to the point where we were giving the licorice drops away to shop owners and random vendors, all of whom accepted and would exclaim, "I love this stuff!"

And I love people who love their candy.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Went all the way to Amsterdam to see some Vermeers, but guess what. The Milkmaid's in New York.

Well, well, well. Do you have anything to say for yourselves? Cecily? Laura? Jac? Mike? Pete? Masumi? NYPD? NYFD? And the biggest offender of them all: Metropolitan Museum of Art?! I walk all the way to the Rijksmuseum and wait in the rain to get through the security line and pay eleven euro just so that I can get a glimpse of that glowy Vermeer lighting, and instead of The Milkmaid, I get a little sign with the painting printed on it that says, "On loan to the Metropolitan blah blah." Um, excuse me? It's not enough that the Met has a bazillion other paintings? You had to take the Dutch ones, too? From a guy who only did, like, 35 paintings? Well, f*** all ya'll. Damn yankees (and I know that burns some of you real bad, you know I'm talking to you Georgians).

I kid, of course. There were two other Vermeers and plenty of Rembrandts and Frans Hals. So you know, as my friend Justin would say, "Rijksmuseum? Crushed it."

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Check out the Hubs' huntuns.

I know, I know. No one wants to see the Hubs' huntuns, but these huntuns were so huge that I had to photograph and comment. Is that why the Dutch are so tall? They eat more shrimp in their wontons? Hm. Anyhow, we ordered these bowls of huntun mien at Nam Kee in the red light district, which funny, also seems to be the Chinatown. Check out the huge gailan smothered in oyster sauce:

And this is just to prove that I was in Amsterdam, while eating all this Chinese food:
The restaurant above is called, wait for it, Oriental City, where we had some awesome dim sum staples. I was stressing out all morning about arriving at the O.C. when it opened because if you know a good dim sum, you know the tables are going to fill up quick, Dutch or no Dutch. Of course, the Hubs was all, no problem, no hurry, don't worry, no one's going to take your steam bun, and I'm like, if I get there and it's full, I will leave your ass to sit with a Chinese family, so move. It. NOW. Finally we get there at like 12:15, and whaddyaknow, we grab the last table before there's a line up the three flights of stairs and out the door. The Hubs: "I guess you were right about the dim sum." Oh, oh really? Am I not my father's daughter? Is it not in the blood?! Don't mess with the dim sum experience, man!! *pant pant blacks out*

Monday, October 05, 2009

At Patisserie Pompadour: Would you rather Dutch apple tart or apricot macaroon cake?

So I was in Amsterdam, and I was kind of like, why do people even bother getting high here when they could be gorging themselves? Besides on brownies, I mean! And the vintage clothing here rocks, too! But that's for a later post. First, which would you rather: Dutch apple tart or apricot cream macaroon cake (with marzipan frosting)?
Can you guess who ordered what?
Mmmph.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Next stop: Amsterdam

How awesome is this portrait of Rembrandt? I can't wait to join the Hubs tomorrow in Amsterdam. I've never been! I'm going to be a good tourist (ahem), visit the museums and eat my fries with mayo — any other suggestions (besides the ones that would force me to lose my job and owe the man even more money)? I've also planned for dim sum on Sunday and a night with some traditional Dutch-prepared eels. Forecast says rain all weekend, which only means more time inside with some stamppot and snert. Want. Eat. NOW.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

French Sundays: Hours of my life that I'll never get back from YouTube

In addition to some Serge and Edith (ouai, I dare to mix), my French Sunday includes:
Bulgaria's own (she was born in Sofia!) and one of the original French rock girls:

I want her hair:

Check out the cutie Vanessa Paradis in the 80s! Right when Johnny Depp would have been portraying officer Tom Hanson in 21 Jump Street. Wow, I'd be perfect for Tiger Beat's research department. Though, I'd have to specialize only in 80s and 90s TV heartthrobs from Thursday, Friday and Saturday night prime time line ups. Lee Majors, anyone?

Christophe Mae was in heavy rotation on the music video channels when we first came to the BLG in 2007 for our language immersion:

The little Lolita:

Not a French song, but come on, it's got dresses and shoes and pastries:

In theory, I'll be listening to this when I clean out my closets and archive my magazines. In theory.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

When the Hubs is away...


Sing it, Fievel!

The Hubs is out of town, so I thought it was time to catch up on my to do list:
1) Clean out closet. Give stuff to homeless and/or put it all back in the closet.
2) Archive magazines.
3) Write a novel. And make it snappy.
4) Find a house in DC. Better cost 50,000. Make the recession work for me.
5) Find a job in DC. Maybe.
6) Cook new dishes.

Here's what I've done so far:
1) Downloaded I Love You, Man, Glee, and Gossip Girl from iTunes.
2) Watched the OC for six hours.
3) Created a new avatar on Second Life. (I actually do count this as an accomplishment.)
4) Went to "work."
5) Prioritized "Stuff I Want" list.
6) Ate a lot of avocados out of their shell. (OMG, they come with their own bowl!)
7) Filled the mind-shattering silence with this heartfelt song from Fievel and friends.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Jam On It: My friend goes to the Smolyan Breakdance Festival and brings back ham jam.

Sarah (a.k.a. Captain Binoculars, Shorty Fire, Kim Pine, etc.) attended the Breakdance Festival in Smolyan this past weekend, and can't stop rhapsodizing about how amazing it was. How the crews were doing the most unbelievable moves, how the energy and dancing was so great that it brought tears to her eyes. Oh, so did you bring me a souvenir t-shirt? Did you bring me a taste of that dance fire going on in the Rhodopes? Naw, but I did save something for you from our hotel breakfast.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Rain falling on the corner of Cherni Vruh and Nikola Vaptsarov = Dancing at home in pjs

How many gnomes do you see? And yes, that's a full coat of armor inside the corner-lawn-ornament-shack.


And now, I dance.

She can't dance, but those are some hot boots and rhinestone gloves.

Oh you KNOW I'm doing that dance when she's goes "My guilty pleasure I ain't goin' nowhere baby long as you're here I'll be floatin' on air."

And here's my euro-trash contribution to the mix:
Big argument between Katerine's version above and Milow's here. Or do you prefer the original?

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The Hubs displays "jazzy" drumming style, The Admiral sticks the finish, and I got really hot under that wig

Jazzy, no?
Crazy-ass exertion.
Stickin' it in rock stance.
Getting overheated. (Btw, Gwen Stefani songs are really hard to sing. Stole or no stole.)
Look at all the pretty stars on my dress. So golden and plentiful.
Gotta respect the wig and crown. I mean, a Pringles stand is respectable, right?
We already sang More Than a Feeling. What the EFF are we still doing here?

Captain Binoculars doesn't like you.

This is snarly Sarah, aka Captain Binoculars. For Rockband Night she was wearing a vinyl skirt, a LOT of glitter and was overheard saying, "I bought these green tights four years ago thinking I'd find some place to wear them." She drums as her (yet another) alter ego "Kim Pine." Any other Scott Pilgrim fans out there?!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Rockband Night: Would you say no to this man and his honeycomb tie?

This is the Admiral. When he hosts a Rockband Night, you don't say a word. You just nod and go.
It was pretty clear when I looked in my closet that the only option I had was to go in Lady Gaga drag. No punk, no rock, no goth. There was no other translation possible. Only Gaga. Plus, you don't have to wear any pants as Lady Gaga. Easy-peasy.
The Hubs had a pretty good night, since he was able to whip out those tiger pants he purchased in Baltimore in 2000, for Cecily's Halloween party with a bunch of socially retarded writers (e.g. So, what are you reading?). That year, I went as a slutty lab assistant, of course, since all the pieces were already in my closet. Before you scroll down, please notice that not only do the tiger pants feature the tiger print, but the velvet (or whatever) fabric is crushed in a squiggly shape, so there's extra visual movement. The workmanship, people!
Alex. On guitar. Wearing a kilt. What next?! Actually, I have to clear some photos with others before I post more Rockband photos...

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Itteh bitteh kitteh in Thessalonikeh

Wish I had cheerier pictures, but I mean, summer's OVER. What's the point?
Dramatic grass.
The view from the ramparts in the Kastra (Turkish Quarter). And I don't want to say that's Mount Olympus in the background, because I actually have no idea if it is, but it's around here somewhere.
Looking through barbed wire. I've gone completely Balkan.
This is the ceiling of the oldest church in Thessaloniki, called the Rotonda, from the 3rd century AD. The mosaics were so golden and shiny that it made Sarah cry out, "Ooooo."

Monday, September 07, 2009

Thessaloniki is cool. No, seriously, it was pretty chilly.

Did it just get cold really fast where you are? On Saturday in Thessaloniki it was around 90F. I took no photos because it was too hot and uncomfortable to lift the camera and push the button. Next day, it was rainy, windy and around 60F. (And Sofia is colder!) But rainy weather made for some neat photos as we walked around the "second city" of both Byzantium and modern Greece (oooooh...)!
Textural shot? I won't lie. I was obsessed with texture on this trip.
Mood lighting in the Church of Agios Dimitrios, 5th Century.
This, as you can see, is a busted-open pomegranate. I've never seen one busted open while it was still on the tree. Oh, the jokes that were going back and forth about Persephone and D.H. Lawrence! (One each.) It was a rare moment where fruity texture, mythology and stupid jokes seemed appropriate for a good 10 seconds.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Ruins. Have I posted this photo before?

So, where are you headed for the long weekend? We're off to Thessaloniki, which is some ancient magic, if you know what I mean. I heard there's a Ruby Tuesday's there, which is some Thai Phoon shrimp magic, and you know exactly what I mean. I actually have no idea what I mean. What meaning is left in words after carb-loading for an entire summer and then watching Madonna almost collapse on stage? From now on, I will just gesture from a velvet divan. That will be my "words."

It was a long day at work with a nutty lady, y'all.

Anyhow, the photo above is from our trip to Philippi last year. I figured, it's Greek and it has ruins, just like Thessaloniki might! Did you know that Ataturk was born in Thessaloniki? Yup. Aaand...that's about as educational as it's going to get until I actually go to Thessaloniki. Have a great long weekend!

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

NOT our fault.


So Madonna almost collapsed (and then collapsed for real backstage) at the concert in Sofia the other night. It happens around minutes 1:02-1:09. People have been sending me articles of it all day, and I'm like, that's bullshit, she kept dancing, there's no way, she looks great, she's what dreams are made of... Turns out everyone was right, and she did collapse (again, not Bulgaria's fault), but that just makes me love her more, because I still got to see the entire show, which means she knew what my needs were and her need was to fulfill my needs. See? I don't care if she eats unicorn dust for breakfast and keeps humping all the (of legal age) male models in the world. HER. SHIT. ROCKS.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

okay just one last time

Check out all the cellphone cameras! (Courtesy of Alex's iPhone camera.)

Monday, August 31, 2009

Our last meal in Sicily and the last Italy post of summer...

I know my Sicily postings have dragged on and on, but I really wanted to post about Valledolmo, our last stop, where Laura's Italian friends Lino and Rossella are from and where they so generously treated us to our wonderful last meal in Sicily:
Panelle (garbanzo bean loaves) and stuffed and breaded olives - YUMMM!
You know the rest.
Arrivederci, Sicilia!

Racing to get to Valledolmo!

Last shots from Cefalu...

CHECK OUT THE VIEW!!
This is Karla, the hostess with the mostest. I wished I looked this good while stuffing a cannoli.
Karla and Dan at the most awesome local market:
Wine
Sauce
The salt table. Look at the heavenly light! It's a blessed market.
This man really wanted us to photograph this eggplant which is about to swallow Laura's head. It is noteworthy.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

I still tear up thinking about it.

So, it's Sunday evening and I'm still blabbing nonstop to the Hubs about how much Madonna rocked last night's performance. Here's how it went:

6:00 - Two hours until show time (so we think), and we're waiting in line with 50,000 people to get into Levski Stadium.

6:30 - Still waiting. A little afraid we're going to get crushed in the crowd, but it's awesome how many fun-colored bra straps there are. We're discussing the lack of t-shirt hawkers but the preponderance of nut-and-seed sellers outside the stadium.

7:00 - The Bulgarian man next to me strikes up a conversation as we're moving like cattle through the entrance. He says, "It's badly organized, isn't it?" I gush, "Yes, but it's worth it, right?!" He only sort of agrees.

7:30 - We're IN! I spot another Asian in the crowd. It's a dude, but I'm still kind of excited.

8:00 - Paul Oakenfold opens and plays house music(?) - since when?! We're pretty sure he was checking his stocks behind the DJ stand. Saw him in Shanghai in 2003, and he uses the same video in the background (floating Asian woman in lingerie) as he did six years ago. Weird.

8:30 - Lots of fake boobies in the crowd, as well as 60-year-old women wearing hearing aids and house dresses.

9:00 - Paul Oakenfold leaves stage. The crowd starts doing the wave, like, 50 million times. Children are crying.

9:30 - People are chain-smoking around us. Wish I had eaten dinner/never quit smoking. The dorky couple in front of me — they're wearing matching lavender outfits — are LOVING the wave. (Remember this couple, because I will love them by the end of the concert.)

10:00 - Lights go out except for the screens on stage. A wall swivels and we see Madonna sitting on her throne!!! I black out for the next two hours. But I manage to remember such highlights as:

+ "Holiday," "Dress You Up in My Love," and "Like a Prayer."
+ There were lots of lasers. (In general, the concert was an AV Tech's wet dream.)
+ When she sang "Human Nature," in between the choruses, she added, "I can stick up for gypsies if I want to." And she has an awesome gypsy act (The Kolpakov Trio) perform in her set.
+ She plays the guitar.
+ She also did a Michael Jackson tribute, since it was his birthday.
+ She's still into the crotch grab.
+ Also, it looks like she works out.

It's fair to say that we were the loudest fans in our section. The only people who were as excited as we were, or who at least didn't give a shit about how dorky they looked because they were so freakin' excited, were the man and woman in matching lavender in front of us. They danced and sang (with their eyes closed) the entire time, unlike the rest of our section, who just sort of stood, then sat and then smoked. I sort of wish I had been standing with the gays in the "golden circle" up near the stage, but then being that close to Madonna's muscles might have blinded me. She was unbelievable and I'm pretty sure I'm never going to see a better concert and I'm going to wear my concert t-shirt forever and ever!