Oh yah, definitely back in Bulgaria.

It's hard to focus on escapism when I'm constantly being bombarded with news about bailouts, election debates and potential Britney sex tapes (and just when her weave was starting to look normal again). What's the mood like in the States right now? Because all of us here in Bulgaria are freaking out. I got colleagues telling me to buy Swiss francs and gold bars. I'm checking cuteoverload six times a day to stave off panic. Is it time to plan that much needed "staycation"?

Pretty communist phone

This lavender beauty was at the Occupation Museum in Tallinn. Here's what the Estonians thought of the Soviet era:

That would be a huge bust of Lenin and another communist leader — located in the corner of the museum's basement, next to the bathroom. And at Tallinn's City Museum this display of Soviet-era alcohol and cigarettes, exhibited among the photos and retelling of the Nazi and Soviet occupations, includes a sarcastic caption:

Peterhof Palace: A Solid Gold Explosion

Don't believe me? Ask this guy:
That's a golden Samson prying open the jaws of a golden lion — a subtle and symbolic depiction of Russia's victory over Sweden in what I'm sure was a very wet and very cold war. 

So this is the "Russian Versaille," which we already established is very gold. I made mental notes of a few rooms in case I ever have a chance to dedicate an entire room to the slumber party experience and chinoiserie. But you know what? No fabergé eggs! Turns out there are actually only 61 surviving eggs and while there are about ten in Moscow, most are scattered in museums and private collections in the US and in Europe. Now I have to go all the way back to Walters Art Museum in Baltimore to see a fabergé egg.

Would love to blog about the fog, but got distracted by the most busted owl in Russia.

The infamous Bulgarian fog reared its pouffy head in Sofia this morning. I would've posted a photo of the fog had I not randomly remembered this little guy, who is planted at the heels of "Night" -- a statue of a woman wearing a fabulous cape of stars -- in Peter the Great's Summer Garden in St. Petersburg. I guess funny things can pop up when you're in a fog. (Oh my god, someone stop me!)

When I first laid eyes on this creature of maniacal glee, I laughed for a good three minutes for a couple reasons: 

1) I was already hysterical from the fact that I was in the least smiley country on the planet. 

2) Can't you imagine "Night" complaining to "Bitterness" that she got saddled with this joker, who never takes her mysteriousness seriously? Couldn't she trade with "Cold" or something and get a wolf? 

3) It's not everyday you see an owl depicted this way. With so little dignity. And so many teeth. Athena would not be caught dead with this owl.

All very logical reasons to laugh when you're in a fog. (Oh, I've got more coming.)

Snooptember in Sofia: Who here smoke weed?!

Not us, you crazy coots! But we did go to the Snoop Dogg concert this past Thursday, where Snoop's DJ prepped the crowd by repeatedly asking us the above question. I kept screaming (most importantly lying) "Yeah! Yeah! I do!" until I realized about an hour and a half later, when Snoop had still not taken the stage, that it was a trick to fill the time while Snoop finished playing PlayStation or smoking his own big J backstage. One of our smarter, slightly more ornery friends sat down early on in the Q & A period and said, "Who here hungry?" 

I must admit. I was poorly prepared for the concert, not having studied the lyrics to his most recent songs (other than "Sensual Seduction," the true title of which kind of grossed me out) since after doing some research on his albums since "Doggystyle," I realized that Snoop has been one prolific writer these last 15 years. I gave up on cramming and hoped he'd open and close with "Gin and Juice" and include the always crowd-pleasing "What's my name?" I also tried to cover up my lack of knowledge with elaborate costumes: 

While the souped-up jerseys didn't quite help the fact that I didn't even recognize the opening act (um, that would be the Dogg Pound), I knew it didn't matter when Snoop finally came on stage and addressed all the "sexy ladies" out there. It was like he was talking right in my direction. 

Snoop's performance was awesome; he played the three songs I knew! But his diplomatic foresight -- he wore a Berbatov jersey (Bulgarian footballer who plays for Manchester United) and waved a Bulgarian flag while his DJ played House of Pain's "Jump" -- was even more impressive. I've never been so endeared by someone who curses so much and who is so preoccupied with weed and sexy ladies. Sofia loves you Snoop!

Leather vs Fuzzy Mitts: It is what it is.

Now, Russian fashion isn't so much shocking as it is five-inch-heeled, tight, short and low-cut, which I guess could be shocking on a Sunday. Carl actually scoffed at my noticing a Russian bride sporting the miniskirt wedding dress à la Stephanie Seymour from the Guns n' Roses "November Rain" video, and put me in my place with a "Oh, that's nothing." But after you look past the locals who are simply dressing to cool down from the sweltering 50° F heat, you find some really stylish peeps in French twists and gold flats:
I'm in love with this woman's summer coat. If I were to live in a climate that required a summer coat, I'd stock up on these. 

That Cheery Chekhov!

I just realized that I never blogged about food while we were in Russia. Must've been blinded by the drink. Actually, included in our top-most-shocking-things-about-Russia list (coming in at a surprisingly strong no. 11) is that borscht is crazy delicious. As are pelmeni dumplings and the old standby caviar. To sample the traditional fare, Comrade Carl took us to a restaurant called Chekhov, where the menu begins with the above quote. I think what Chekhov is trying to say is that we should eat something before we walk a million miles to the next museum.

Some caviar, some blinis...

Some cherry pelmeni...

Some raspberry soup...

Some homemade Russian cheer (in different fruit flavors) with Eli, Carl, and the Hubs!

Last vacation. I swear. (Alternate title: "Sort of my own Wintour wonderland?")

Just to give you a taste of what's inside Oppenheimer's unauthorized bio of Anna Wintour:

Judith Daniels had a terrible dilemma. She wanted to fire Anna, but Anna refused to be fired.

A perfect beach read. Oh, permit me to back up -- remember how I said ta-ta to summer? Turns out we weren't ready. So we headed to Thassos one more time just to soak in all that we'd be missing for the next nine months.

We did more relaxing on the beach this time around. When I wasn't reading about the stir Anna Wintour caused by wearing Issey Miyake to a New England clambake, I was able to explore more of the tide pools in Alyki. Each of the shells below has a crab living in it -- call David Attenborough!

I also experienced some very talky-talky highs while drinking the Greek coffee.

Okay, NOW I'm ready for fall. 

Goodbye, summer. So long, sweet bird of youth.

I guess the rest of you noticed that summer was over, and even the fuzzy, smiling, sepia cat below wasn't able to charm you into continuing with me on this exclusive, round-the-world denial train. The gruesome truth might include the following:

1. I returned to Sofia over a week and a half ago.
2. Upon arrival, I immediately began watching the rest of seasons one and two of "The Wire" and couldn't bother to bathe or feed myself, much less blog.
3. I originally wanted to post the most shocking things about Russia in a bit entitled "Outtakes from Red Square," which included a shocking list accompanied by possibly the most miserable photo of myself in Red Square, but then became paralyzed with paranoia that maybe "they" were watching. I mean, being a native Georgian and everything...
4. It was imperative that I sign up for Style.com notices regarding New York Fashion week. Also, had to google to see if the designer Thakoon Panichgul is Thai. He is! Wee!
5. Might have gotten a teensy-weensy beet teepsy after sampling some of that Russian vodka that I brought into work, and decided to "friend" everyone on Facebook. That's right, I went drunk Facebooking. (Same day as #4, just a little later.)
6. Thought long and hard about investing in a portable Finnish sauna.

So as you can see, I'm back. Ready for work!