Real quick: Sorry for previous spoiler. Living abroad makes you less able to empathize with Americans.*

We finished season one of "Mad Men," which was like witnessing sleek cars slowly crashing into each other and piling-up on the highway. The Hubs and I like to discuss (other than the pointy boobies) the difficulty of rooting for any of the characters on the show — Joan, maybe? Miss January Jones? Peggy makes it impossible when she hooks up with the righteously smarmy Pete Campbell. It's pretty much a cocktail of misogyny and vodka gimlets, which means that we spend a lot of time yelling at the screen "Oh, what an A-HOLE," and "Have another drink, Draper. That'll help." Must see season two, just to watch more of this stylized and drunken wreck.

The abundance of secrets and poor communication got me thinking about a little guilty pleasure called Peyton Place with Lana Turner and the lovely Hope Lange, who reminds me of January Jones.

Doesn't she look like she'd say hi to you in the halls? Not like Kim Novak, who would totally cut you if you asked her for a pencil. Hm, but whom with you rather party with?

Sofia side note: The weather has turned warm, and Motley Crue is coming to town.

*Oy! Sorry, Pete. I really thought I was the only one (of the twenty people who read this blog) who hadn't seen "Mad Men." Unfortunately, I've been known to do this in the past, which the Hubs has argued is grounds for divorce. I still remember in the fifth grade when my friend Susie was plowing her way through Beaches, and she had almost gotten to the end, and I just blurted out the ending like some spoiler-screaming Tourettes patient. I'm sorry, guys.

Spandau Ballet reunites! (I got a little help from my friends)

This is big news folks. News that I would've totally missed had it not been for my friends, who in an effort to stop me from posting more "Chess Moves" cruise details, have been e-mailing me possible blog topics. First things first: BBC news announced that Spandau Ballet are reuniting and going to be touring. (Thanks for the heads up, Sherry.) Please god, let their fifth-to-last stop be Sofia! I'd even take Belgrade. Now, you might ask yourself, "Why do we care, Ms. Dip? Why do we give a hoot?" Well, you'll know when you hear it.

When you karaoke a song often enough the lyrics start to mean SO MUCH. Even when you're not wasted. And speaking of meaning, my friend Dan, who loves Blondie almost as much as he loves cats, sent me the Blondie video for "11:59," which is an awesome song that I'd never heard but which has unfortunately been removed from youtube so I can't share it with you. Luckily, it reminded me to share with you my favorite Blondie song "Sunday Girl." This live version has some seriously funky 80s dance moves.

The French version is cool, too, as French versions often are.

So, what else? Thanks to Alex, I've been laughing over these photos of someone's pet AT-AT. My favorite is the one where he's getting out of the shower:

Surprising interest in the "Chess Moves" cruise leads to further investigation

Now who would've thought there'd be so many (four people) intrigued by the idea of a chess cruise, hmm? Well, my friend Sarah, whom I will dub Captain Binoculars from now on, decided to check out the website for the "Chess Moves" cruise, and look what she found! "Chess Moves" is only one of several cruises offered by Geek Cruises. You can also go on cruises based on gaming, science fiction and Linux. There's also a link called "Convincing Your Spouse."

The chess cruise offers seminars on "Hypermodern Opening Strategy in Action" and "Rook Endgame Essentials" given by grandmasters like Susan Polgar, who, the Hubs rapidly informs me, is really famous for being the first woman to earn the men's grandmaster title. (You can check out her blog here, but it's like, in chess code.) Captain Binoculars and I were more immediately drawn to the offerings of the Full Suite cabin, which comes with exclusive Neptune Lounge privileges, complimentary binoculars, and corsages and boutenirs for the first formal evening event. Now, you can't just mention formal around someone who had a single sex education and not expect them to hunt for their navy blue velvet Laura Ashley prom dress. Please. That word is like catnip. 

The more we searched the parent company Insight Cruise's site, though, the more we started realizing that the other cruises — "Opera Odyssey," "Cultural Currents" and especially, "Bright Horizons" which features a forum with the author of The Physics of Star Trek — all sounded in a mostly earnest and only 10 to 20 percent ironic way, actually, really cool. Maybe it was all the photos of turtles and bread, but I am sold on this Geek Cruise thing. And I wouldn't mind Susan Polgar teaching me about chess. The woman is a badass.

By the way, do you like the photo of the Hubs super-excited about the Lewis Chessmen? On our last trip to London, I thought we'd seen all that we had to see at the British Museum, but the Hubs kept studying his map and making all sorts of twists and turns until we reached a poorly lit corner of the medieval section, where he screamed and sort of punch my arm when he saw these chess pieces (12th Century, walrus ivory, made in Norway (maybe), found in Scotland).

Rank the following: deviled eggs, Max, chess cruise, Karl Lagerfeld quotes

There I was on Thursday night, "Wah wah wah, Hubs, I have nothing to blog about." The Hubs continued to be glued to his Chess Life magazine as he tends to do when I really want to get to know him. As I was about to force him to talk to me ("Hey there, you. What's on your mind?"), I noticed what appeared to be an ad for a chess cruise called "Chess Moves." Um, sign me up, skipper! This is possibly the only kind of cruise I would be willing to go on. But only as a purist grand-master checkers player. And just when I was doubting the universe...seek, and you will find. 

Unfortunately, Friday came, and the glow and excitement over having discovered "Chess Moves"-the-cruise was being buried under all the snow that kept falling. Luckily, Miss Carolyn had some people over to her house where she presented a down-home southern spread, including my favorite deviled eggs:
I positioned myself with the egg plate at 12 o'clock, and asked folks if they wanted their deviled eggs. So happy. As if that was not enough, she let me take this photo of her Chilean cat Max:

She accused me of using some kind of wide-angle fishbowl lens, but I'm afraid that belly is all natural, Carolyn. 

The gifts kept coming when on Saturday, I read a 2007 New Yorker profile on Karl Lagerfeld, which provided the following gems:

I like to look very superficial. - KL

I throw everything away! The most important piece of furniture in a house is the garbage can! I keep no archives of my own, no sketches, no photos, no clothes -- nothing! I am supposed to do, I'm not supposed to remember! - KL

Finally, one model approached the table. She selected a single grape from a bunch, inspected it carefully, and ate it. - description of model backstage at Chanel show

Also entertaining: his descriptions of one noteworthy souffleur, his mother's comments on the ugliness of his hands, and his constant Coke swigging. It felt decadent just to be reading it in bed and giggling over the insanity.

Finally, what would life in Sofia be without a little mention of Sofia? (It would be a lot like this blog, actually.) Fellow blogger Brian posted this meditative video (set to U2 and absent of the usual cursing) of his drive from his home towards downtown Sofia. Just a little slice of life. 

Book Covers and Basketball

It's getting to that point where I don't really know what to blog about, since: 

1) It's still really cold here (forecast says snow this weekend), and I'm not going outside to take photos of anything unless it's on my doorstep (see trash photos).

2) Work has been seriously sucking lately. Sucking like no one's business. Let's just say it's "evaluation" time where I work, and so everyone's busy writing evaluations so I spend a lot of time making up lies, which wouldn't be so bad if it was in the name of art (people get degrees for that, you know), but alas, it is for the Man.

3) It might be that pathetic time in a blogger's life where I just do whatever kind of shit you want me to do just so you keep reading. For instance: "We want you to go out and walk in the Sofia traffic and photograph your earthy experiences with mafia drivers." Consider it done. I will most definitely think about it. Just last week another driver pulled a gun on one of our colleagues. I could've captured this kind of gritty non-law-and-order-jazz for you had you ordered me to do it. Taking suggestions now.

4) The Rihanna/Chris Brown thing is taking up a lot of brain time. Did you read this NYT article about teenage girls basically saying that Rihanna asked for it? We need mandatory showings of "What's Love Got to Do with It" in schools from now on. Seriously, girls. 

5) While everyone else does that college basketball tournament pick thing, I'm going to pretend I'm back in the US, browsing at Kramer's bookstore in Dupont Circle, and ultimately taking home books because of their cool covers like on this website, which has been mentioned a couple times on other sites, which makes it being mentioned on mine completely tired, but as I said before, it's getting to be that time in a blogger's life when I ask you how I should feel.

6) I think we're all ready for spring here.

The Biggest Food Posting Ever!

After all the garbage has been collected, what else do I have except food photos?

Crab egg noodles and broth (A personal favorite!)

Roti with curried chicken

Seriously smelly and spicy (and fuzzy) fish-paste dip

Fried fish (above) with green papaya, shallot, chili, peanut, and dried shrimp dip (below) — A Hubs' favorite

 Garlic fried crab

Garlic fried "other" crustacean

Lime cilantro chili pepper sauce (This dipping sauce is very special to me. It just is.)

Sauteed morning glory with chilies and garlic

Awesome appetizer platter: fish cakes with lime sauce, sweet and sour shrimp, mini fishies, fried oysters, gingko nuts 

Rice cakes with peanut and ground pork dipping sauce

Golden desserts (sort of like marzipan)

Mango, coconut, custard + sticky rice = "Don't be surprised if you've gained weight." (Fun mom quote.)

What's that sound? Could it be? Whaaa? Saturday garbage collection!

I ran through the apartment this morning screaming "They're picking up the trash! They're picking up the trash!"
Look look look! It was a wondrous sight. A sunny, crisp and clear day. The beauty of plastic bags being blown hither and thither and ballooning closer to the heavens. Yay, Sofiaaaa! 

Today's Meditation: Rain falling on garbage

I had to get a shot of the ever-expanding salad of garbage in front of our apartment. I couldn't fit all of it in one frame from the ground level, so this is a bird's eye view from our apartment. Almost every street is like this. Please let it be collected before it gets warm. And before the feral dogs get up in here and build a kingdom of garbage. Until then, I'm distracting myself with the following:

+ Tick season is around the corner. A warranted concern given the wild nature of our parks.

+ Sofia's own, Mayor Boyko Borissov — a mob-connected former bodyguard — is running for prime minister this year. His turtleneck-and-leather-jacket look is just as special as his skill for municipal management and criticizing gays, Turks, gypsies and old people. Old people. Forecasts say he's going to win, which makes me wonder if 2009 is also the year the EU says, "Shopska or no shopska. What were we thinking?"

+ I want a baby koala bear. This one in particular from The Year in Pictures is taking up a lot of time at work. I would dress him in little sailor suits and aviator uniforms.

+ I've been revisiting my food photos from Thailand. A lot. I like to relive the part where I recharge my food court credit card and go on a spree. 

+ Ice Cube is coming to Sofia April 13th. But I know even less of his oeuvre than Snoop's. And the one song I know comes from the Save the Last Dance soundtrack. There. I said it. Should I still go?

+ Our friend Heidi is having a baby on Monday! High-five, Heidi! It blows my mind that the baby decides when it's coming out. Wow, huh?

Trash Watch 2009: Is Sofia the new Naples?

This is the scene outside our apartment and in many streets in Sofia. It snowed last night and this morning, but by the end of the day, much of the snow had melted. The overflowing dumpsters, however, remain. For about a week now, there's been a little contract dispute between the waste management companies and the municipality, and so, naturally(?) the garbage collectors stopped emptying the dumpsters and in some neighborhoods removed the dumpsters altogether, so people have nowhere to empty their trash cans. 

I wonder what fresh hell summer has in store for us.

Rumor-mongering elephants

Elly 1: Did you hear that the city has stopped picking up the trash in Sofia?

Elly 2: Well that's just in time for the snow they're getting later this evening.

Elly 1: What's snow?

Elly 2: I don't know. I've never seen it.

Elly 1: Interesting. What's trash?

Elly 2: I don't know. The only thing that litters the ground here are valuable Buddha heads.

SCENE!

Unchained Elephant Coming My Way (Ooh, a new analogy for economic disaster!)

We had just hopped out of our van at another site in Ayuddhaya, when this teenage elephant started walking towards me. He got about ten feet away when I realized that he wasn't chained to anything. I immediately started to panic because did you see the size of his tusks?! It turns out he that was just workin' it. His mahoot shouted something, and the elephant sat down, crossed his legs, and posed for a photo. We got to feed him lots of bananas and pet his wrinkly trunk.

I 'll be milking these elephant photos for a while.

The Martenitsa Exchange: A major reason why this is my favorite Bulgarian tradition.

You get accessories! And if you get a lot, your bracelets become a wristband and you get that cool Madonna jelly bracelet effect from the early 80s. All the Bulgarians and Americans were exchanging martenitsas at work today, which takes me back to when I was a kid and we exchanged friendship pins and bracelets, and then mixed tapes and notes. Unfortunately, instead of hoarding my bracelets in a shoebox like I do with other friendship-related accoutrements, according to Bulgarian tradition, I have to take off the martenitsas and tie them to a tree when I see the first stork or the first budding tree of spring. I guess I could do that for the big fat arrival of spring, but it's so hard parting with the martenitsas.

Snake Watch 2009: Happy Spring!

Originally, I was going to post about it being March 1st — Baba Marta, to us in Bulgaria, where we exchange red and white bracelets or ornaments (martenitsas) and begin to look for storks— but then I talked to my mom in Bangkok and she told me that her dogs killed the first cobra of the year  just a couple days ago, and I thought, "Gee, that's a different springtime they're having over in Thailand."

Last year, her dogs killed over 10 cobras, which had made their way into my parents' house in Bangkok. There are two dogs that work as a team, where one dog runs behind the cobra and pulls up its tail so that the cobra can't raise it's neck to strike. Another dog bites and shakes the snake's head, and then they just pull until the cobra is ripped apart. This particular time, each dog lost a fang in the snake's flesh as they were pulling, and the snake sort of kept writhing for a while after it was pulled apart. Then our housekeeper threw it in a pot to take to the neighbors who wanted the snake meat, because that's just the way we roll. 

So, why all the snakes? My mom has a theory that ever since she told our housekeeper to stop feeding the monitor lizards, the lizards have gone away and stopped eating the snakes around the house. But is a monitor lizard really a match against the king cobra? Here's a video of your answer:

Ayuddhaya: Still hot after all these years.

I completely forgot to post these photos because I was over-excited about blogging about the cobra vs. monitor lizard death match. Better late than never, which can also be said about my parents' visit to Ayuddhaya. My father had never been, and my mother sort of remembers visiting when she was a little girl, but not really. She credits the hippies for opening Thai people's eyes to possible tourist destinations within their own country. It was mighty cool.
The reclining Buddha:
This is an actual meditation position.
My friend, Jacques, who entered the monkhood for a month or two, is still a little bitter that the mentor monks didn't teach him this reclining meditation position from the get-go.