Do skoro to our favorite equestrian and smoke jumper!

You've met Kristi and Steen before, perhaps on our journeys to Turkey and Albania, or perhaps in their conversations about things that will get you killed while smoke jumping. Here they are in Sarajevo, practicing the patented "don't look at me now look at me" modeling technique — don't they look tall and surprised? Precisely.

Sadly, Kristi and Steen are leaving Sofia, as one eventually must. We are very sad (like, sadder than the times Marissa Cooper's dad left her) to see them go, but we will think of them whenever we see horses and cats (if I had one of those sky-writing machines - planes? - I'd paint the sky with kittens and ponies just for you, Kristi), and we'll probably still call Steen when we're lost because he was born with that thing that allows birds to navigate without asking for directions, which means we may be communicating with them twice a day everyday until they throw their phones off a bridge. Oh, how we love and will miss you!

Safe travels, Kristi and Steen!

Nighttime in Sarajevo

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HUBS!!!

The Hubs is celebrating by watching the NFL Draft.

Road Trip Challenge: Name that traditional dish*

*In addition to providing the real name for this dish, you also have to come up with an alternative name and a testimonial about how you felt when you ate it. (Btw, "9 weenies too many" is already taken for an alternative name.) Oh and to help you get in the mood, imagine washing it down with this: 

The Hubs says he would name baby rabbits "Swity Bloops Drops" if he had any baby rabbits. I was thinking that the name was more appropriate for a jolly, blue-tinted prostitute. Depends what you're into I guess.

Not Pictured: Bombed out buildings (but not because they're not there or because I reached my "Sad and Serious" quota for the year)

The Serbs decided to let the massive bombed-out ministry buildings from the 1999 US and NATO bombings remain as they are — that is, huge, burnt out and falling down structures situated directly in the middle of town on Embassy Row. I took out my camera to photograph the buildings, but our friend Kristi informed me that we were strictly forbidden to take photos of the bombed buildings, and as we drove by the rubble, there seemed to be policemen enforcing this rule. And so, I have for you photos of some remarkable pink pants in front of a mural of buildings (you know you love the trompe l'oeil!), traditional Serbian dress, art deco, and art nouveau. And a tram advertising Les Mis. (Hey, I would totally go to Belgrade to see Les Mis. We only got The Full Monty in Sofia.)
Serbian dancers in traditional dress at a military event held at the city's old fortress. (Ah, I can feel the obligation to report factual specifics slowly fading away...)

Is it more Back to the Future or Metropolis? 

Gates near the old bohemian quarter

"Hit-Mjuzikl"

The Siege of Sarajevo

I had to post photos of all the walls, buildings, homes, and streets that are riddled with bullet holes and shrapnel scars left from the Bosnian War. You can't avoid them since they start appearing the closer you get to Sarajevo after crossing the border with Serbia. It looks like people have tried to fill them in with plaster, but there are so many that it would seem impossible. Sometimes the buildings look like swiss cheese.

The photo below is from the side of the cathedral, which was hit by a mortar blast. The spot is marked by a "Sarajevo Rose" — a concrete scar filled with red resin.
These are shell casings that they've converted into flower vases. They also offer empty shell casing umbrella stands, pens, pen holders, and salt and pepper shakers.
Finally, we have some graffiti that was meant to be encouraging either during the siege (1992-1995) or perhaps during the reconstruction years afterwards.
If you want to know more details about the Siege of Sarajevo, check out this excellent map, which shows how the Serbian forces surrounded and attacked the city and how supplies were provided through a tunnel out to the airport. While the map includes a depiction of "Sniper Alley" and mass graves located near the former Olympic stadium, missing are even more horrific details, like the deliberate and constant shelling of hospital maternity wards.

Admittedly, we felt a mixture of shame (that we didn't care more about the war when it was happening) and wonder (that people could live for four years under siege and come out alive). But Sarajevo is doing alright. Better than alright. As one woman told me, "They didn't break us!" 

And I will say it right now: Sarajevo has better streets than Sofia.

Road Trip Challenge: Read Serbian.

Bring it, Anonymous.

I Heart Sarajevo

More details to come from our road trip to Belgrade and Sarajevo, but first here are some photos from Sarajevo. Above, the Viennese cafe at Hotel Europe, est. 1882.

Austro-Hungarian architecture

Street cafes leading up to the Cathedral of Jesus' Heart, the largest cathedral in Bosnia and Herzegovina.

A "Sarajevo Rose" — a filled-in hole caused by mortar explosions from the Bosnian War.

Bascarsija, Ottoman Sarajevo.

Moorish style City Hall and later, the National Library, which was shelled during the Bosnian War. Ninety percent of its collection was destroyed. They're working on the reconstruction.

One of many mosques.

Kilims in the marketplace

Shop sellers taking a break.

Road Trip Question: Name that bridge!

Here's a famous bridge in Eastern Europe. What's the name and what happened here?

Crossing the border into...

Belgrade Rocks!

Seriously. Major music artists always hit Belgrade and often skip Sofia and now we know why. This place is so fun — restaurants, clubs, Euro-atmosphere in general — and I'm pretty sure we'll return, since it's only a five hour drive from Sofia. Anyone want to meet up in Serbia?

The various architecture and design styles — baroque, art nouveau and art deco — made walking around really fun for me, but torturous for others since I was stopping every five yards to take photos.

What are we in South Beach?

Art nouveau gates.

I'm sorry; I know it's fur. But it was such a cool window display.

I feel a road trip coming on...

Here's a hint. 

BKK Broiler: A Meditation on Songkarn

Wish I had meditated more before writing that last post about gay elephants on the first day of Songkarn (Thai New Year), but then, I'm not the only one needing to meditate these days. I just wrote a bunch of snark regarding the riots in Thailand (really, it was about my hope that they didn't close the food courts) but then erased it because I meditated on what I wrote and decided I didn't want to get hosed with gunfire, as opposed to water, which is what Songkarn is really about. So here are some photos of Buddha and flowers. Hopefully, they will make your meditation on Songkarn a more peaceful one. 

(I literally had to do laps around Ayuddhaya until some woman wearing a bikini [fine, it was a strappy tank top and boy shorts, but still] finished her photo shoot in front of that Buddha head. The guide said it was probably a botched attempt by a thief to steal it from a nearby statue, but when it became too heavy to carry, he dropped it here, where the tree's roots grew over it. Word. Buddha's head is heavy.] Best wishes to all my friends and family in Thailand. Stay safe!

I like dudes. Get off my back.

This isn't about thongs or chess cruises, but it's about gays and elephants so you know I'm on it like pig on mud. My friend (high-five, Laura!) sent me an article about some Polish politician in Poznan being all up in arms over the zoo's "gay" elephant. The ten-year-old elephant's name is Ninio, and he likes hanging with the guys. I mean, with a name like Ninio... "We didn't pay 37 million zlotys (11 million dollars) for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there," one politician hissed. Well, you're the one who paid 37 million zlotys, Douchey McDoucherson. Hell, get another gay elephant in there and you'd have a zoo act I'd actually pay to see. Geez, what is wrong with people?

Consider this your warning.

I think I can count the number of times I've seen this expression on the Hubs's face. He usually saves it for when there's something visually horrifying.

It appears that the woman is wearing a black thong on top of a white thong, of which we can see both isosceles triangles forming a kind of double-fortified thong: it basically ain't moving. The photo is unfortunately blurry as this rare occurence was caught in the wild, and I didn't have time for light meters and that professional mumbo-jumbo. 

There are so many questions we have. Like, did she layer up for the slight spring chill? Was the top thong actually part of a body suit? Are they making double-layered thongs now? 

Peach Blossoms, Martenitsas and Dogs Managing the Waste Problem: Sofia's Spring Mix

Charm.

Martenitsas are tied to the first blossoming tree you see.

And finally, below we have a clearing in supposedly the most expensive part of Sofia, where the dogs (one lounging at bottom left and another investigating to the right of it) have built a sprawling lair out of cardboard and general trash items, either found by the dogs themselves or a random man (homeless or retired remains to be determined), who purposely leaves the cardboard with the dogs. I'm pretty sure there are families of dogs living in these mounds, like a post-communist "Meerkat Manor."

My favorite part about this, though, is that the Mayor of Sofia is in Moscow right now telling everyone that "Sofia has never been cleaner." 

Automatic Bulgarian Street Cred

I've been a Guns N' Roses fan for twenty years (ever since the sixth grade when the high school cheerleaders did their pep rally dance to "Welcome to the Jungle"), and if I were to wear the t-shirt of one band, it would be that of Guns N' Roses. So isn't it lucky that as I was wandering through the Zhenski Bazaar this past weekend I found the Black Widow store, which stocks GNR tees?! This sweet punk girl came to the door, and I asked her if she had the Appetite for Destruction tee. Da, da, she did! For ten leva (not even seven bucks). I wore it the next day and the cashier at the grocery store said in Bulgarian, "Nice shirt." You don't understand. A Bulgarian talked to me, and it was because I was wearing a Guns N' Roses t-shirt. They love their rock so much that it pushes them to talk to strangers because they know we speak the same rock-loving language.

Before now, I only owned two music-related t-shirts acquired from random concerts — the Violent Femmes in 1991, and the Black Keys concert in 2005. From an early age, I knew I had an old fogey temperament when it came to (many things but especially) live music: "Does it have to be so loud?!" "This doesn't sound like the CD." And so, only two band t-shirts. Until now.

Springtime at the Zhenski Bazaar!

We've lived in Sofia for two winters now (from now on, I plan on measuring everything in Bulgarian winter units), but we had never visited the Zhenski Bazaar, or "Women's Market" — a very sad statement about how little we leave the house unless it's to go to work or another country. To be fair, we had done a lot of exploring on our language immersion trip and at the beginning of our three year tour. We figured that we had to leave something to be explored. But the weather turned warmer this past weekend, so we decided it was time to explore. And what do you know: the Zhenski Bazaar is a fun place to go on a warm and sunny Saturday afternoon in Sofia.

Observation 1: They got lots of women (and men) selling stuff for cheap, like honey, eggs and red bell pepper paste. The sales people absolutely will not stop smoking at any cost, whether they're spooning olives into plastic cups or handling cute but prickly cacti. 

Observation 2: They got lots of flowers! And daffodils, which always remind me of springtime in Atlanta. (I miss Georgia especially in the spring.)

Observation 3: You can buy wine by the jug. See the plastic bottles in the upper right hand corner? You fill those up to go, or bring your own. Our friend Alex, who often wandered around the Zhenski Bazaar when he was unemployed, says that some of the wine he took home was pretty good. But then there was some that was really, truly, painfully bad.

Observation 4: It's not a bazaar unless there's chess at the fish and tackle shop.

Observation 5: They got nuts.

Photoshop GENIUS

Sarah envisioned this scene of bliss and then ordered her husband Alex to "make it work" through Photoshop. What we have here is the OC family (plus me and Sarah — find us, if you can!) in the foreground, and Sofia's National Palace of Culture in the background: a piece of the OC here in Sofia. We bathe in syrupy light even under hazy skies. We're also sitting on a graffitied "pool." I laminated it and plan on showing it to all border patrol and customs officials. Just cuz. (Thank you, Sarah and Alex, for the best birthday card ever!)

Revisiting Shanghai Baby after 7 years, 3 copies, and never having finished it.

I didn't think I'd be blogging about this ever, but Dan who provides me with obscure Blondie videos and trivia-that-becomes-essential-knowledge (e.g. Mick Jagger sings backup vocals in Carly Simon's "You're So Vain"), informed me that the novel Shanghai Baby has been made into a movie.

Whaa? You don't know this, this Shanghai Baby? Behold Miss Baby!

It was banned in China, because, I dunno...what does her tattoo say? The author is Wei-Hui, and this is her author photo:

The photo itself takes up the entire inside of the front cover. And in case you didn't get that Shanghai Baby deals with Asian themes, see the first letter of the novel:

I wish I was reading a Chinese menu. I'll admit, though, that I love the first line: "My name is Nikki but my friends all call me Coco after Coco Chanel, a French lady who lived to be ninety." Really. Not Coco from Fame?  Not Coco-the-six-foot-tranny on Charles Street who is missing her front teeth and who just ordered me to hand over all my money and my lunch? No?

When the Hubs and I went to our very first post in Shanghai, we were given no less than three (three!) copies of Shanghai Baby. I think two of these copies came from Cecily and her family, who were tickled by, in addition to the author photos and its banned status, its tale of "love, sex and self-discovery," but this time girlfriend was going to do it up in the Orient! The third copy came from someone who was trying to get rid of their copy and so "forgot" it on our couch. Xie xie, xiansheng.

So here we are, seven years later, and my Shanghai Baby is still unread, but luckily, I can now catch it on film. 

Coco, as portrayed by Bai Ling — a favorite with Go Fug Yourself. Here's a photo if you can't quite place the face, or the hair:

She's the one on the right.