Since it's there and we need to keep our energy up

The barman clapped his hands when the Hubs ordered a cannoli. It was hot and dusty outside, so I ordered something snowcone-y. This is My First Granita in the shade of Limone:

The sweet and tart limone syrup made the enamel on my teeth vibrate. Not for amateurs/grandmas like myself, who immediately wanted to reach for the Sensodyne. These necessary and reinvigorating shots of sugar (since our last sugar and caffeine shots about two hours earlier) enabled us to trudge the next 200 meters to the next site:

Kidding. I meant this one:

The Cathedral of Palermo and its street-facing statues:

I'm starving.

God Help the Girl - "Come Monday Night" and "Funny Little Frog"

Stuart Murdoch's new project! Love the lovely, melancholy lady crooners. Enjoy!

Let's start with breakfast in Palermo...

Meet my little friends, The Cassattelle Twins, who are fried raviolis filled with ricotta. See?: 
We came across the sweet-and-blessedly-delicate cassattelle as we were wandering through a market near our apartment/shithole (oh you can be SURE there will be more on this later). This cafe was wedged in between two butchers, see?:
The Hubs chased down two guys who were pushing a shopping cart filled with cow parts — a head with fuzzy lips, limbs and entrails — past our cafe. (I'll post that one later, since the Hubs hasn't quite uploaded all his photos yet). All the while, this Sicilian cat below sat outside a shop selling leather doggie outfits and gazed upon the scene with its absolutely KRAZY eyes: 
It looked like it was packing heat, so we moved along and went to see the Cappella Palatina, which is, wait for it, a NORMAN chapel! Jes, ees tru. The Normans, and more specifically, King Roger II, built this 12th Century chapel which is now in the Palazzo Reale:
Educational part over. Kind of hungry again...

A big blogging fail, but look at all this stuff I got.

I never quite found that wireless connection in Sicily, but rest assured, I will still be forcing you to look at all my photos, one gelato at a time. Above we have some Sicilian booty. While there are all sorts of goodies — artichokes, mushrooms, pistachio pesto, wine, almonds, chocolate and chili peppers — the picante salami stands out as one of my favorite purchases of the trip, since it is salty, spicy and in the shape of a toilet seat, which happens to be a common missing ingredient in Sicilian public bathrooms. This salami has got it all.

Just in time...

I'll be blogging and posting food photos wherever and whenever I can get a wireless connection in Sicily. Ciao!

I'll be reading this as soon as I wake up from my rage blackout.

Excitement!! (That's real excitement and not sarcastic excitement, btw.) My friend John Dermot Woods released his novel (with drawings!), which I just ordered from Amazon, even though I'm a moron and could've gotten a bunch of free stuff — numbered silkscreen print and signed limited edition with bookplate and probably brownies — but I couldn't remember my PayPal account info. Anyhow, John writes real awesome, and he's pretty funny himself (I seem to remember John insisting that he had always known that Jason Bateman had that special something back when he was on The Hogan Family.) Check out some of his (John's not Jason's) illustrations and writing on the sidebar links!

I need a vacation from A-holes.

I am now qualified to Google how to fix your computer.

Woot woot! I'm CompTIA A+ Certified! I passed the software section today. Now I can leave town and forget about the number of contacts on DIMM cards. (Do you like the motherboard cake?)

I passed my CompTIA 220-601 Exam! (should I go ahead and get the Cat 5 rings?)

I'm just going to come out with it: I've been studying to be a computer technician. I know, I know, my shaky commitment to shirking reality and practicality really disappoints you, but once I saw these rings...I mean, come on. Sign me up for that totally awesome test! (No lies, it was torture. All. The. Way. This ordeal took almost nine months, because I kept going on vacation and forgetting stuff.) I passed the hardware section today, and next week is the software section, and the week after that...maybe a new adventure?! But seriously, should I get the rings? They have ones with binary code, too. Hm...

The sweetest figurine that accompanied kids into the afterlife

Reminds me of these guys.

I Shouldn't Be Alive

"Watch it, Heather, you might be digesting food there."

I love this game!! Let it never end...So these are some photos from when we ate at a market in Chania. A bit o fish fry, black-eyed peas, grilled peppers, and the garlickiest mashed potatoes we've ever had. The Greek waitress basically told us what we'd be having. It came with a side of vegetables:

...and octopus salad!

Finally, I'd like to leave you with this little gem: "Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. No one at Westerberg is going to let you play their reindeer games."

"Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?" — A Heathers sequel?!

Winona Ryder confirmed it! 

Here's where I ask: What's your favorite line from the movie?

Traveling with Ms. Dip: The cat did not care, and the dog was tired.

Not caring.

He looked at us, sighed and looked away. It hurt my feelings.

Now I must hurt you with Chania

Meet the kri-kri, folks. The wild Cretan goat. I'm pretty sure I saw one on our way to the Samaria Gorge, and if it wasn't a real kri-kri, that's okay, because I have no problem telling people it was a real kri-kri just for the sake of making this blog an ounce more exciting.

So these Venetians get around, huh? Check out Chania's port:

The Hubs enjoys a book on the balcony:

The Hubs in Chania's cute streets (alternate caption: "Hubba Hubba in Chania")

And Chania at night:

Stay tuned for photos of the most serious dog in Crete and another lounging stray cat photo.